As most people who have been affected by domestic violence know, October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. Domestic violence has continued to increase into many relationships that have a lasting impact on those involved, bystanders of the relationships as well, such as close family members or children and society as a whole.
Domestic violence is a plague that effects millions of people, some being your neighbors, your family members, your friends and maybe even within your own home. My desire is that everyone who reads this blog will understand the significance domestic violence has within our world and the negative impacts that affect us all. If you read this and feel some of these behaviors describe you. you can make changes needed to positively effect others in ways you currently are not. If you read this and are someone who recognizes these behaviors in your partner, you can make changes needed to find safety and security.
I hope while reading this you truly feel the empathy I hold for people who are victims of domestic violence. I want to be a safe space for anyone who feels impacted by this blog. I want my words to help someone gain knowledge or information about domestic violence and to better understand the dynamics of their relationship.
What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is a continued pattern of aggressive or manipulative behaviors that are used to show dominance, gain control, and establish and maintain power over another person. While most people originally viewed domestic violence as only physical violence, it is evident that other types of abuse occur and have similar implications that physical violence has. While physical abuse is well known and easy to describe, other types of abuse are just as demeaning and harmful. Sexual, financial, emotional, and even cyber/technical abuse are all ways that domestic violence is used to establish the power and control a person who abuses is searching for.
What are the statistics?
Statistics provided about domestic violence show it is increasing. The more knowledge gained about domestic violence, the more our society can establish ideas for change. It is statistically evidenced that women are more likely to experience domestic violence.
To strategize for real change, our society has to figure out why so many people continue to use abusive behaviors to get their needs met. How can we as a society establish meaningful and loving connections with those around us so that everyone can feel safe within their environment? While the infographic above shows significantly higher likelihood for females to experience domestic violence, that in no way means that men can not be abused.
Types of domestic violence and abuse
The types of abuse listed are not the only ways that someone can establish control over others. Simply put, along with the types listed below, any behaviors that are continual in a relationship that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone are all considered to be abusive (website). I could likely write a blog on each specific type of abuse but for now, I will include the most prominent with a brief definition of each type.
Emotional- Emotional abuse is likely one of the most common types of abuse and can be one that is less likely to be reported or discussed with others. I chose to begin with emotional abuse because it is highly unlikely that the types of violence listed below occur without the presence of emotional abuse occurring within the relationship, as well. Most often emotional abuse is a precursor to other types of abuse. Types of emotional abuse include intimidation; threats to hurt others including, but not limited to, self, partners, children, animals or other family or friend’s of their partner; destruction of property; or creating isolation from others.
Physical- Any form of physically injuring someone else using force such as slapping, shoving, pinching, pulling hair, biting, punching, grabbing, etc. Physical abuse can also occur by forcing another person to partake in alcohol/substance consumption against their will. Lastly, refusing a partner to get medical care could be considered part of a physically abusive dynamic.
Sexual- Sexual abuse can occur in any setting and can be easily defined as any action that involves coercion or goes against someone’s desire to interact in a sexual way. If someone initially says yes and then says no, there is no consent. If someone is dressed “provocatively” and says no, there is no consent. If someone is heavily flirting and the situation becomes sexual and then one person says no, there is no consent. As previously stated, even consent could be a whole other blog post, and the overall message of this imaginary blog post would be if someone says no, changes their mind, can’t say no, or is hesitant about saying yes, there is no consent. Some of the most common types of sexual abuse are marital rape, attacks on “private” areas of someone’s body, forcibly engaging in intercourse, or treating someone in a sexually demeaning manner.
Financial- Financial abuse is a pattern of behavior that exhibits restraining another person’s ability to use, maintain, or gain economic resources. Often this shows up as one partner having more control over finances within a relationship. One partner may control how money is spent or give an “allotment” to the other partner that has not been negotiated together as a form of establishing a budget. Other types of financial abuse are exploitation and abuse of resources such as guardianship or conservatorship.
Cyber/technical- This type of abuse is becoming more prevalent as technology continues to demand more time from people in society. Types of technological/cyber abuse are patterns of behavior that intend to harm, stalk, control, impersonate, exploit or extort someone by using any type of technology.
Power and Control Wheel
A useful resource for determining specific examples of some types of abuse listed above is the Power and Control Wheel. This wheel essentially gives examples of abusive behaviors, that if continued over time and formed into patterns of behavior will likely create an abusive environment.
If you are currently experiencing domestic violence or know someone that is, do not keep it to yourself, your life or their life depends on it. Below are national hotlines, as well as state specific resources for anyone who can benefit.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
800-799-SAFE (7233)800-787-3224 (TTY)
Advocates are also available to chat 24/7.
855-4-VICTIM (855-484-2846)
References
Wisniewska, M. J. (2023, December 7) "Domestic Violence Statistics 2024". Break The Cycle. https://www.breakthecycle.org/domestic-violence-statistics/
At Root Counseling, we believe in healing from domestic violence and changing actions to be a safe person within your relationships. If you're interested in learning more and talking with one of our licensed therapists, you can do so here.
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